Keeping peace amidst unfamiliars

I was feeling anxious this morning.
I’m helping out my sister by taking care of her pets and home while she’s on a business trip for a week. The home is spacious, the room she’s offered me fully private and equipped, and the pets are precious. So why the anxious feeling?

Nothing is familiar to me here. Well, familiar in a sense that I’ve visited here a few times before in the past 3 years. But strictly on the surface, this is my sister’s home, not mine. And I was feeling a bit longing for familiars this morning.

But it’s not a feeling I’m ‘unfamiliar’ with. Goodness knows at times I feel an expert in detecting when that achiness comes that says ‘red flag alert: you are now feeling disconnected to your sense of peace.’ Yeah, I kinda know that feeling well enough to know that when it comes, you don’t have to just sit there and wallow or pine for familiars or worse, feel anxious until you leave or expedite your exit.

Right at that moment of feeling a disconnect, it is possible to shift thoughts and re-establish your connectedness with Spirit in order to feel that sense of inner peace you long for.

Why? Because no matter where you are, no matter the setting or circumstance, your spirituality is an unchanging fact.

This morning I remembered that. And that gave me peace. But I felt more strongly a sense of how many days it will be before I was going to be home. And so I knew I had to do more than just ‘remember’ my spirituality. I had to advocate it for myself and vehemently.

So here’s a glimpse at how I prayed:

Right now, this very moment, the universe is created and governed and sustained by the divine Mind, God. And right this moment, the only law governing all reality, including me, is the law of Love. Right this moment, each of Mind’s ideas are in fact held in the embrace of the divine and can only experience, feel, know and live this consciousness, this awareness of peace. Right now, this moment, I am one of Mind’s ideas. I am God’s child and as such I am being mothered and fathered, adored and loved, cared for and sustained and upheld in divine Love’s embrace. Thus all I can know, feel, experience or live is the grace and tender touch of the divine.

All that wallows disconnectedness, emptiness, or a feeling of being cut off from all that I am about—all of this is nothing more than a gross imposition of untruths, and just like a lie can not ever tell the truth, I can not be misinfluenced by these erring suggestions. I know that these suggestions are not my thought and can not base my being or define my experience. Right now, just as the black clouds roll back and show the shining rays of the sunlight’s glow, I am one with the rays of light. My thoughts can not be touched by gross impositions of any form of evil—whether disguised as loneliness, emptiness, or feeling numb.

The only truth about my being is that this moment I am the expression of Love’s grace. I can only feel, know, breathe, embody and exude the fullness of love. I can only sense the touch of Love’s care. Even amidst a very large home or big city, even there is God’s tender touch caring for me and all.

So this moment, no sense of disconnect has any validity and I can not be robbed of my precious oneness to the divine. The truth of my being, my inseparable relation to the divine has never been undone. And this truth enforces itself.

I held to these truths all morning and within a very small time, I felt reconnected if you will. My sister’s home became to me the oasis for the moment – my sanctuary where I can go about my moments and days just as if I were in the familiars of my own setting.

In truth, there really can’t ever be a disconnect between each of us and our sense of spirituality. And it remains our inherent right to prove this truth each moment of our days….thought by thought….
Thanks so much for reading my blog! :)If you have any questions about the above ideas, feel free to leave a comment or email me at

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Confronting iguanas instead of running away from them

Ever seen an iguana? Their seeming vicious appearance intimidates me: amphibian like scaly skin, sharp teeth, long tails, webbed feet. Yet, when approached, they scurry away, more scared of humans perhaps. But I tend to scurry first!

Well, this week my dog taught me a lesson: confront the iguana!

Every morning he pulls to go outside, typically meaning he has to ‘go.’ Down in the Keys this means “I’m on a mission to conquer the iguana!” I don’t have the heart to tell him they’ll outrun him. So morning after morning, off he goes. Yesterday he chased one into a boat. I scooped him up, carried him off and sure enough, the iguana ran away too.

I giggled my way back to the computer. “It’s rather foolish it takes my dog’s attempted conquest to brave me toward an iguana!” And then it hit me: iguanas are very much like the stuff I carry around mentally that I really would rather run from than deal with—especially if dealing means confronting someone.

I used to call that stuff ‘mental muck.’ No more. New phrase: mental iguanas.
Cool name perhaps. Not cool how many I’ve run from instead of confront! Ewww….rather humbling to take a long hard look at that one!

I confronted one this week: my tendency to neglect my needs if it means meeting those of another, especially a loved one’s.

No big deal if this means I choose to use the bathroom second, select whatever’s left over (food, seat in car, place in a restaurant booth), and choose if I wish to offer input in a group discussion.

Do this for a couple of decades and everyone will expect this behavior. And it gets deeper: let others tell you when to visit, and when you do, let others tell you what’s good for their schedules, even if it means completely changing your own, involving much investment of time, money, traveling, whatever.

Yep: my ‘wait my turn’ or ‘remain on the down low’ type behavior with family really blared out to me this week because I found myself contemplating rearranging an entire trip to see someone I love.

Not unthinkable, this person is my Dad. He’s senior to me. I respect him. His schedule’s a tough one to break into. Yet he does manage several times a year to socialize with friends all over the country and makes time for them. And year after year of thinking we will make time to be together, I gotta wonder, Why am I not making this happen?

Simple: I don’t wanna inconvenience him.

EWWW! See the vicious iguana? See the thing you just wanna run away from?

Inconvenience? Bother? Interrupt? Gimme a break! I’m his daughter. We are extremely close! Why do a carry around a deadweight of guilt when I’m trying to see him? Because inevitably I’m always interrupting something. Similarly, his is not a household you can enter and exit at will. There are rules in place and routines to follow. It’s just not always something you wanna deal with, ya know?

I recalled when I flew down and surprised him. He was elated. But surprising him was complicated because of his schedule and a few other elements. I spent most nights with my mom at her place. Dad and I carved out some boating time: we drove down to the Keys and spent Father’s Day on the water where we saw a school of dolphin—it was an exhilarating day and one of my favorite memories, truly.

Realizing that was three years ago strangled my sense of love. It was just flat out wrong.
The iguana of self justification crept in and insisted why I’ve not made more efforts:
–logistical rigormorole to fit into his schedule
–house rules that ‘sweat the small stuff’ (what dishes/food/towels/sheets you can use)
–unsolicited advice about what to change about my life.

Not a typical scene you’re biting at the bit to dive into, believe me. But with Father’s Day coming up, I decided to confront the iguana. So here’s how I prayed my way through:

First, I re-established that God governs every moment. Every substantial and lasting motive, thought, action is impelled by divine Love. Next, I defended that both my Dad and I express this Love, thus no ego, will or fear could manipulate our actions. Next, I faced down all fear anticipating criticism, rigidity, ill will. Such have no place in the consciousness of Love. I didn’t need to anticipate them anymore than I would lend myself to expressing them.

Mary Baker Eddy’s statement from Science and Health reinforces this truth:

“Nothing is real and eternal,–nothing is Spirit,–but God and His idea. Evil has no reality. It is neither person, place, nor thing, but is simply a belief, an illusion, of material sense.”
(p. 71:1-4).

I knew that with love, it would be doable to look beyond the superficial barriers of personality and will and whatever else. And I knew that there could be a way to find a compromise. I reached a peace, called my Dad and scheduled time to spend together.

Confronting the iguana this time around was surely worth it!

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The night I turned 10

White box, blue box, white box, blue box, blurry box, blurry box, blurry box.
“Oh, stupid tears! You’re getting in the way of my pattern finding!” I angrily pulled my eyes away from their gaze at the plaid canopy fabric arched overhead. I forced them instead to stare at the white wall next to my bed. At least there, the blurrs from my tears wouldn’t be so obvious.

But even that bothered me. I buried my head in my pillow and sobbed and sobbed loudly. “I hope she hears me and comes to my rescue.” The concept of turning ten years old still overwhelmed me and somehow, crying eased my panic.

I heard a door creak open and felt the presence of someone sitting on my bed.
“What’s wrong Tre?”
In a moment I knew it was my sister, Tanya proving to me yet again her mastery of ‘big sis’ role, especially when mom was out on stupid dates with stupid men like stupid Spud. (yes, that was his name).

“It’s not fair!’ I shrieked. “I am now a 1 and a 0. Two numbers Tan Tan. It’s going to take me that much longer to head all my papers. I don’t wanna be ten. I really loved being 9 and even 8. Why must I now be a 1 and a 0?”

I turned away and sobbed and sobbed. I avoided big time telling her what I really feared. Wearing bras and getting my period. That’s what happened to ‘Margaret’ when she was 10, my favorite character in a Judy Blume’s “Are you there God, it’s me Margaret.” And both things symbolized growing up. I didn’t want to grow up. I wanted to be a little girl forever. And a one digit one at that, preferably 8!

Tanya did what she does best. She let me cry. She stroked my bangs, my hair, and she even put Trina, my favorite ‘ugly’ doll, in my arms.

She was an expert at growing up, her 11 year old wisdom shockingly genius to me. And while her strokes comforted me temporarily, the fear of getting my period and real boobs just bothered me so much.

“Everyone’s gonna make fun of me even moreso Tan Tan. They already call me
Tresha tubbolard. Now it’s gonna be ‘torpedo titties’ and ‘on the rag’. I’ve heard them calling out to Michelle like that. I don’t ever wanna go to school again. And where’s mom? Why is she out on a date on my birthday?”

It was a downpour of emotions on this, the evening of my 10th birthday, the first one I could recall despising. No cake or song or party for me that night. My newly divorced mother was out on the town with a date, my birthday cake still frozen (she’d told me we had to wait) and now I had to swallow never being one digit again.

My sister must have felt the need for more than stroking hair comfort.

She said, “Tre, let’s see what God has to say about all this, okay? Go get your Science and Health.” Oh, she was so wise. I’d plum forgotten to pray! And here was my genius sister once again working her wise ways.

She turned on my bedside lamp and snuggled under the covers with me. And just as she was about to read, I gasped in fear “Tanya, what’s Betsy gonna say if she catches you in here?” The babysitter had been given strict instructions we were to sleep in our separate rooms.

“Tre, she’s probably watching TV or talking on the phone. She’s not gonna get mad. Besides, we’re talking to God.”

She held my hand. “Now hush and close your eyes and listen to God.”
And then she did that amazing thing she always does when she prayed with me.
She started to pray out loud the ‘Scientific Statement of Being’ that we’d learned from studying Mary Baker Eddy’s ideas in Science and Health. I tried really hard to focus my thoughts and listen, tough to do when you’re in absolute awe and wonder of your sister. She was nothing short of a goddess to me at that moment. And when she saw me staring at her lips mouthing the words, she squeezed my hands, told me to stop peaking, and started over. Here’s what she said:

“There is no life, truth, intelligence, nor substance in matter.
All is infinite Mind and it’s infinite manifestation. For God is All-in-all.
Spirit is immortal Truth;matter is mortal error.
Spirit is the real and eternal; matter is the unreal and temporal.
Spirit is God, and man is His image and likeness.
Therefore, man is not material; He is spiritual.” (p. 468: 9)

I felt calm. I stopped crying. My sister reminded me that I was spiritual. I didn’t really know what that meant. But I knew it meant that I had to think about myself more than just a number. I had to think of myself as “the image and likeness of God.”

She continued to comfort and teach me.

“See Tre. God loves you. You are His image. So that means that you are everything good: you are happiness, and joy, and you are smart and pretty. Why? Because you reflect God. You are His image. And you are not just a number. You are an idea that is always good. God never wants you to feel bad, or sad, or scared—ever! So you have to throw away all the thoughts that are making you sad. God isn’t making you sad. And you don’t have to listen to anything unless it’s a God thought.”

“How will I know?” I pleaded.

“Oh, that’s a cinch!” she exclaimed. “Just see if it feels like love. If it doesn’t, it’s it’s not a God thought and you don’t have to believe it.”

“So let’s pray together” she encouraged.
And she squeezed my hands tighter and said “God loves us, right now, always. We are His image and likeness. We are spiritual and good, loving and honest. We are not listening to fear stuff. We can only hear God’s thoughts. We are not afraid.”

And then she added: “Tresha doesn’t have to be scared about being 10 or getting boobs or getting her period. She is just growing up. And she will feel God’s love and only ever that. She will know that she only ever has to listen to God’s thoughts, not fear. And she doesn’t have to expect people at school will be mean or call her names. And if they do, she can turn right to God and feel that Love she expresses. She can feel happy about being in 5th grade, changing classes, and making new friends. And she doesn’t have to be mad at mom because mom’s trying to be happy too. And tomorrow we will make sure to light 10 candles on her birthday cake and blow them out after she makes a wish. Amen.”

She squeezed my hands, kissed my cheek and asked, “Better now?”

“Yeah. Thanks a lot.” She crawled out of my bed and tip toed to the door. And as I heard her leaving, I already knew what I would wish for when I blew out my candles:
I closed my eyes tight, squeezed my hands together and with my 10 year old faith begged: “Dear God, Please make me as smart as my sister — but I still never wanna wear a bra.”

And I fell asleep staring at the crisscross pattern, blue box, white box, blue box, white box, this time, no blurrs.

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Building infrastructure = loving without borders

Sometimes my awareness of the economic gap between developed and developing nations feels unbridgeable. And the apathy and complacency shown from nations of means toward those lacking appropriate infrastructures (such as those that would provide for safe evacuation from pending hurricanes)—well it’s enough to feel hopeless and helpless about. I surely can’t—as one person—go over to Haiti, for example, and single-handedly build needed highways and shelters, or more importantly, plant the seeds of compassion and care for its own within human heart—a necessary foundation that any ‘nation building’ needs to sustain itself.

Yet, I know that I can’t sit back and just think “let Haiti figure it out.’ Honesty reminds me that if left ‘unchecked’ and ‘unhealed’ helplessness tends to lead toward apathy and complacency whose greatest ally is doing nothing.

So this morning I found myself praying for solutions for healing. Granted, it’s 2 months before the bulk of the hurricanes will spin their winds around the Caribbean. Something must be doable in two months. And for me, that ‘something’ is to pray and defend the right now, tangible ways that divine Love is caring for its own.

Currently, I dwell beneath a roof that could house 10x more than just me.
The home is equipped with modern conveniences: running water, electricity, refrigeration, plumbing, air condition…there’s even remarkably clear cell phone reception and wireless internet connectivity. Pantry’s are amply stocked with food provisions. Closets store an abundant array of fresh linens. Bathrooms have all essentials. Even my dog found a favorite spot to lounge on the cool tile floor.

And here I sit, thanks to a gracious family who loaned their home simply as a gesture of friendship and support. I had no urgent need for housing, hadn’t faced a devastating experience that left me homeless. And I wasn’t fleeing a crisis of the heart or looking for refuge from some other hardship. This friend simply called one day and said ‘Hey, house is empty. Go down. Have fun.’ Bless her heart!

So for me, that gesture was very much evidence of the mothering care of divine Love which graciously outpours blessings of love, support, and friendship to all.

And still, not an hour goes by that I’m not aware of the needs of thousands who dwell throughout the Caribbean, within a few hundred miles from where I’m currently located in the Florida Keys–especially the predictable needs that will arouse from pending hurricanes.

So how can I pray? How can I think practically—thought by thought—about what is governing and caring for each one? How can I be assured of their care and safety in the event a hurricane blows through any of those islands? And how can I defend that the grace and outpouring love of the divine ensures protection for all, regardless of economic status, race, creed or governing ideology?

Well, from all that I’ve learned from studying Mary Baker Eddy’s ideas in Science and Health, for starters, I’ve gotta shut up the pangs of guilt..all that tries to get me to feel guilty for these provisions at hand. They’ve argued “What have I to do with all this luxury when women half my age must manage a half dozen or more children and try to figure out from where their next meal will come.” Or “why am I housed in luxury when countless others must rally to find shelter every day.”

The only motive guilt ever has is to make you feel bad and helpless. And both numb your spiritual intuition which is vitally needed to defend the present, active, tangible grace of the divine that is caring for each and all.

So, first, shut out the guilt.
Then, turn thought completely to advocating the supreme governing, controlling nature of divine Love. This presence is everywhere, no matter what a nation’s economic status, no matter what ideology is governing. The only real government going on anywhere is the harmonic control of Mind. And this government is sound, established and secure.

Then, as you’re defending this government, oppose the widespread belief that evil can dominate thought, on any level—individually, community or nation wide. The tendency to neglect, shun, ignore, take for granted, or resist ensuring protection, care, love, support for the individual, on any level, is not the true inclination of man. Indeed, it surely feels neglect and will and power and hatred run rampant. Yet, no one has to remain impelled by self or evil, whether it’s an every day individual citizen or someone in a position of making change happen. Just keep defending that the only real lasting impelling nudge comes from divine Love and must eventually dominate all thought.

As you do this, you are in fact making a difference because you are defending the supremacy of Spirit, denouncing any duration or life to evil and thus advocating God’s unyielding government. There is no thought, no disposition, no ruling influence immune to the control and presence of the divine. Apathy can be eradicated. Ignorance can be exposed. Indifference can be humbled to express compassion, adoration, respect, and common humanity for caring for one another.

As I defend the spiritual fact of man’s oneness, as I advocate for the control of the divine over all, indeed, I do feel a greater sense of hope and I know that my thoughts open to whatever may be a tangible way I could help. In Science and Health where Mary Baker Eddy asserts: Love is universal and impartial in its adaptation and bestowals.’

Defending the presence, power, and governing control of this Love opens thought to possibilities, to change, to thinking through potential helpmeets.
And I can be defending that this is going on regardless of where I’m residing.

Currently, I’m as close to Haiti as I could be without flying over.
With the pending hurricane season, I’ve already begun to start praying about protection and practical supports to allow all–whether living in the mountains or not—to find adequate shelter. I am praying to know that the world will wake up and help Haiti and enable her to build an infrastructure that cares for its own.

Why bother? Why let Haiti just figure it out?

A very close friend told me a story once about the native Americans’ form of insurance. He said that when/if one’s home burned to the ground, a community member takes in he and his family, allow them to stay indefinitely while community members build a new home for him and then have a community celebration when he moves into his home.

I’ve never lost the meaning of that story. Embedded therein is this enduring sense that one person’s needs are all of our needs. And that in loving our neighbor as ourselves we won’t be blinded to a natural outpouring of human kindness simply because of superficial differences of geographic locations, political structures or economic worth attest. Notice: no one in that story acts complacent, blames the one who lost his home on lack of intelligence or lack of protection against the threat of fire, no one shut him out to say ‘figure it out.’ All pitch in and help.

Certainly I’m not calling for all to fly over to Haiti, impose their will on what should happen. I am calling for the borders of everyone’s thought to expand. There are Haiti’s in our own back yard, and across the town. Ask yourself daily “how am I helping to care for my brother’s needs? How am I prepared to respond?”

Leaving the grocery store the other day, in an SUV loaned to me by family, a Haitian family walked curbside in the 90+ degree heat. Two children (very young) were in the cart and the mother and her friend pushed them along side the road. At that moment, the extreme differences of our economic situations felt this looming cement wall too high to climb or break down. But I shut out all fear and guilt in my thought (for I can not resent any longer that I was raised with means and education and I can use these resources effectively to help my fellow man), And I pulled over behind them so as not to scare them, got out of my car, and called over to them, offering a ride.

Golly, I would have driven them several hundred miles, I was that inspired to love tangibly. The mother turned to me and smiled a glowing smile I will never forget. ‘We live just over there. This is my daily walk. And it is fun for the children to get outside. You are a gracious woman. Thank you.”

Wow. I was so moved. Shame on me (in ways) for feeling they were ‘suffering.’ It was a beautiful day out, tropical foliage in bloom and brillant sky canvassed with enormous clouds. But more than ‘shame on me,’ I felt gratitude for the willingness to pause and offer, for the willingness to build a connection, for the freedom to love without borders.

Economic, political and social injustices must be resolved. And these are everyone’s issue. Everyone’s. Ultimately, to me, what will ensure just and merciful treatment of all humankind–enabling all to lead an adequately safe and healthy life– is an expanded view of the creative governing power controlling all and a heightened view about the worth of each and every human—no matter race, cultural background, rearing or educating.

Mary Baker Eddy defends this spiritual fact in Science and Health, something I pray with daily:

“In Science man is the offspring of Spirit. The beautiful, good, and pure constitute his ancestry. His origin is not, like that of mortals, in brute instinct, nor does he pass through material conditions prior to reaching intelligence. Spirit is his primitive and ultimate source of being; God is his Father, and Life is the law of his being.” (p. 63: 5)

Think about it: what are the possibilities if each one of us begins to embrace one another as ‘offspring of Spirit’ instead of citizens of differing nationalities, creeds, ideologies? Ya think anything would change? Might intolerance for injustice subside? Might proactive action toward helping one another be more widespread? Might the needs of anyone be much more in thought instead of neglected or abandoned?

I often think of all as this ‘offspring of God.’ And I ponder how God is caring for each one? And I work to let my actions reflect this. My offer for a ride to this family is surely not the same level of help as creating a sustaining infrastructure with adequate roads, plan of evacuation, and shelters. But it’s motivated by the same care and desire for protection, impelled by the sense of justice that knows it is the right thing to do.

And as I pray and live this way, I’m that much more aware that to the degree we let our lives live the Love that seeks to comfort, support, heal, so too are we each contributing to the eradication of all complacency, apathy, ill-will and neglect. Try it. You can be assured that as you love without borders, you will bless many, including yourself!
Hey, thanks much for reading this blog. Offer your perspective and ideas too (send a comment). And if you wanna be in touch about any of the ideas, email me at and lemme know how to best reach you. Thanks and be well, Tre

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When someone you love passes on….

I learned recently of someone’s passing who I cared for deeply.
We’d lost touch in the last few years and the news was a real blow…at first.

At the moment I learned, my inner yearning to love and to stand for the life eternal that is God commanded my response to the friend calling me and I felt my words comforted both of us, actually, on the phone call.

But a few days later, when another friend called and let me know, well, the sting was a sharper blow. And I’d already been praying about the whole thing. So I didn’t get this. That second conversation was at night and I walked outside and gazed up at the stars. My first thought after that 2nd phone call was pretty radical. “Tre, do you believe in Life or do you believe in death? Both can not be real. You must choose.”

Whoosh. This absolute authoritative nudge was just what my pendulum thinking needed.

You see, in standing for the eternal Life that is God, what must result from this line of spiritually scientific reasoning is that the individual expressions of that Life never end. The you’s, me’s, our family, friends….we are all individual ideas of that Life that is God, individual expressions of this eternal being. (Mary Baker Eddy explains this thoroughly in her work Science and Health ).

How can the change in how our forms reflect this Life mean an end to our unique, individual expressions? It’s simple. It can’t.

But way more than an intellectual exercise, let me put it more like this. If you’ve ever looked up at the stars and taken in the magnitude of twinkling lights you see up there, that is simply a glimpse at the millions of ways eternal Life is individually expressed. Staring at the Big Dipper, you’re not simultaneously looking at Orion or Casiopeia, but both those constellations are still there, still shining….still exuding light.

With loved ones, the passing feels like an end…but it’s not. Their precious individual expression goes on. Why? Because ideas of Life never expire, retard, or end.

So why the pain or more importantly, what can you do when all you wanna do is cry and feel ‘if only I’d kept in touch’ or ‘oh to be able to see him again’….

Well, hug your heart and treat yourself like you would a child. Remind yourself that the divine Love that comforts and sustains each one us who we each express is right now right here comforting you and supplying you with just the right view of truth so that you can feel free of any sense of loss.

And while you are striving to feel comforted, dive into thought and defend the Life that is God, never beginning, never ending. Defend your loved one’s expression of this Life. He or she is continuing their journey no matter if we can see or feel him or her with our physical senses. Death is never the right verdict and you have the right, the strength, and the spiritual intuition to refuse to give your consent to that verdict—the whole point of Jesus’ life journey.

The pull to feel sad and to miss that loved one is really a call to love more fully, wholly, spiritually. I know, the last thing you may be thinking at that moment of deeply missing someone is ‘what am I supposed to learn right now? How am I supposed to be thinking?”

But Love doesn’t ever stop. And Life doesn’t ever end. And you and all express both eternally. So at the moment that you are feeling deeply missing someone, turn thought to God as a willing child and ask to know how to love more wholly so that the pull of self and ego that wishes to hold onto a form can yield to the awareness that trust that loved one’s journey with God.

When I’m praying this way, I hold thought to a hugely comforting truth penned by Mary Baker Eddy in Science and Health.

“The identity, or idea, of all reality continues forever…’(p. 71:5)

You, your loved one, me, all of us are spiritual ideas which our forms simply reflect. But none of us–our real identities–are ever confined exclusively to these forms. Love this loved one wholly, spiritually, and defend for him or her that they are continuing to exude Life, are ever one with God and are safe and well.

Trust him or her to God. It is the highest, the only, way to love. And what’s more, it will heal your heart of all pain and feeling of loss. No loss….simply gain ….in the knowledge of the wonder and glory and beauty of eternal Life each one of us exudes, now and forever.

I will continue to pray like this for my friend. I know he is dancing and singing and exuding joy. I’m certain he’s insisting we all do so as well!


For further information on any of the ideas above, to talk about Mary Baker Eddy or her life’s work, Science and Health, just leave a comment and /or email me at:

Thanks for reading and sharing your view…..

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It was just a swim….

I’m housesitting for some friends in a place where I used to spend weekends as a kid. Love it down here, ‘at home’ with the waters and breezes, flora and fauna that mother me and ground my thoughts –most of the time—on the stuff that matters. It’s really cool.

But today, I lost site of groundedness and shut someone out when there was no need. Should have seen the potential connection as a response to my yearning to make some friends. Chill time could have been a neat way to pause from a current project, and experience the normalcy of humanity that sometimes ‘sticking to my schedule’ prevents.

Here’s what happened: Every day while walkin’ my dog, a neighbor whistles to me. Not invasive, but annoying. I called him on it. “Hey. Why ya whistling?” And he said, “cuz you look too serious and I want you to jump into these waters and take a swim with me.”

Gulp. Momentary friek out, cringe, get me outa here combined with ‘who is this guy?’
Shift gears, next thought: pause, calm, remember Love’s in control, governs this moment, is what you are exuding, is what he is exuding. No fear. Only peace. No self doubt. Just love. No coincidences, ever. Seize the moment to love. Regain calm. Continue speaking.

Haven’t met this guy before. It’s our first verbal. I respond, “Ah, ya caught me praying again. Yep. I work as a practitioner of spiritual healing and I tend to pray about things when I’m walking my dog. By the way I am Tresha.”

He paused, asked if I was visiting. Meanwhile I’m still calming down the pull to squirm and exit. Got calm. We exchange more pleasantries. He asks me again to swim. I’m not jivin’ with it. Still overwhelmed with ‘self stuff’ (I don’t know this guy. I’m not comfortable in my suit with him. Plus I have work to do). I was calm. But still a bit caught up in fear. Self justification kicks in. I respond “Maybe some other time. I’m working on a project.”

Ooh, mighty mighty ego lets me escape at the last second and prevents me from sharing more genuinely. I know this but still feel safer there. Note to self: work on courage.

I surely saw him around. He asked me every walk (3x/day) for the next 3 days to take a swim. Each time the self got louder. “Can’t he leave me alone? Why does he keep askin’? Didn’t I make it clear I’m working? Tell him some other time. Remember Tre. Love’s guiding.” Real me says ‘then why are you fearing?’ Self argues back: I don’t wanna be bothered, don’t have time for frivolous play.” Self wins. Note to self: Keep an open thought. Be nice. Maybe tomorrow.

Pause: Okay…looking back, I see the echo of self justification and fear really robbing me of the potential good for the moment. Was he asking me to spend the night, spend the weekend or spend the rest of my life with him?

He was asking me to take a dip in the water and share time. ‘Round here, everyone swims. Even as he asked me, 3 others were wading in the waters, including his dad I later learned he cares for and some other neighbors.

It was just a swim. Yeah, but try convincing little miss stubborn-about-the-schedules-to-stick-to, little-miss-nervous-about-the-guy’s-overall-intentions. In those moments, fear and self justification won the day, darn it! I know better. Any pull to ‘stubbornly stick to a schedule’ and avoid Love’s spontaneous outpouring of good is just wrong. Avoid that pull. Dive into Love’s gift without regret.

But I didn’t. Not only did I convince myself I’d say yes later, but I also role played how I’d respond if he did ask me out. (see the strategy of the self talking?) ‘If plan A doesn’t work, rev up plan B.’ ie: if he’s getting me in the water to get me to go out with him later, here’s my ammo.’ DUH! What was I trusting that was governing the moment? Ugh! Not Mind. But fear, self, and ego.

Folks? Sometimes there isn’t later. He came by today to say ‘See ya. I’m heading back up to Michigan. Probably won’t be back til February. But nice chatting with you. You seemed nice. It’s a shame we didn’t get to know each other more. But if you don’t mind, say hi to my dad when you see him? I am kinda worried about him.” And he drove off.

It was just a swim. An hour or so to become acquainted, maybe even enjoy the water and be a bit childlike. Heaven forbid I allow myself some ‘frivolous playtime’ and human exchanges. And maybe, just maybe, I could have offered some thoughts that would have eased his worry ’bout his dad. But I didn’t give myself or him that opportunity. Nope. I had to stubbornly stick to my agenda, feared his motives, bought more time. Kinda sad I may never see that guy again.

See, in trying to live my spirituality, I strive to avail myself of all that good life offers, to embrace another and share heart to heart. And not just to talk about my work but to share lives, in small or big ways. And while I blew it this time, instead of dumping on myself for being stubborn and suspicious, I’m resolving to remember: no interchange is coincedence. Anyone who comes into our lives offers an opportunity to exchange common humanity, kindness, joy. Doesn’t matter if it’s with the store clerk, the toll person, the mailman, your neighbor.

Mary Baker Eddy writes in Science and Health “The test of all prayer lies in the answer to these questions: Do we love our neighbor better because of this asking? Do we pursue the old selfishness, satisfied with having prayed for something better, though we give no evidence of the sincerity of our requests by living consistently with our prayer? If selfishness has given place to kindness, we shall regard our neighbor unselfishly” (p. 9:5).

So I’m resolving to root out the pull to be stuck to an agenda, to be suspicious or fearful.
I need to do this better with men, especially. So I’m resolving to make more mental room for the spontaneous good Love brings, share my heart more and even give myself occasion for frivolous play. The dolphins do. So do the parrots. So can I. So can you.

Here’s to loving more wholely…thought by thought…ourselves and our ‘neighbor’—whether or not it’s just a swim.

Be well…..Tre ☺
If you wanna chat more about the above, leave a comment or email me at: and lemme know how to be in touch with you.

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Prayer is what we live, how we think..moment by moment

You know that connection you strive to feel sometimes with a higher power?
Something you do to pause, get still, make a decision or calm down?
For me, that ”getting still’ or ‘calming down’ is prayer.

But I didn’t always think of prayer that way.
Actually, I used to squirm when I heard the phrase prayer…
As a kid I would think “uh oh..that’s when I’m supposed to listen to God and I have no idea what I’m supposed to hear or ask or do.”

And I spent a ton of ‘silent prayer’ sessions actually peeking out of my eyes to see who was doing what. Some people looked earnest, some were falling asleep, some were wearing really silly outfits. I remember thinking “I wonder if they know what to do right now?” But I never asked. I was probably 8 or so at the time.

Nothing much changed on into my teens. It’s rather ridiculous to think I used to cringe all the time not knowing how to pray if it was something I was expected to do, and that I never asked anyone for help. And more, I always felt a disconnect to any kind of higher power or whether there really was one and if I could tap in somehow.

But the other day I found myself really grateful about how I now think of prayer: the mental state I live and strive to embody daily…and I wondered when the shift happened?

While I can’t pinpoint a date/time, I can say that my awareness of what to think and how to cultivate a relationship with God happened gradually as I gleaned different insights from the chapter called “Prayer” in Science and Health. (see post called Science and Health for more info about this book).

So I started thinking about my blog, about all the others out there who feel the same way I did, regardless of age. And I wanna just offer a few things that have really helped me make this leap…that prayer isn’t only about what you do when you close your eyes for a certain time frame but is actually a state of thinking, of being.

It used to be this way: I used to think I could only pray when I had a really big huge need, and at that I didn’t really know if God was listening, or if I had the right to ask.

Sometimes I’d simply pray ‘Okay God? Hey. It’s Tre (I mean if Margaret could talk to God that way in Judy Blume’s book so could I, right?)….I’m supposed to be praying right now but I don’t know what to say or do or if you’re listening. So here goes: I’m doing my best to be good. I’m trying to be more loving to my sister Tanya. But sometimes she’s mean and won’t share and has better clothes than me. So please let her let me wear some. And please let me feel okay about mom and dad being divorced ’cause life’s kinda hard right now. Oh, and it’d be really cool if Rob or Bill start to dig me. Please let me have a boyfriend. Oh, and please make mom stop making me take cotillion. The boys only come up to my boobs and it’s really embarrassing. Well, sorry, but it is. And please make everyone stop calling me ‘Tresha Tubbolard’ because that really hurts my feelings. And please let me lose weight.”

Well, you see the pattern. I prayed like I was writing a diary. I asked for stuff, hoped I was worthy, tried to be a better girl, and announced all this to whatever God was out there listening.

And now? I walk around with a sense of knowing that ‘all things are possible to God.’
I never walk around feeling disconnected. And I never feel something is too great or too huge or too scary or too hard for God to heal.
In the first line of the chapter on prayer, Eddy affirms

“The prayer that reforms the sinner and heals the sick is an absolute faith that all things are possible to God, a spiritual understanding of Him, an unselved love.” (p.1:1)

Whoosh. ‘all things are possible’…and end result: reformation and healing. And she even says what’s needed: ‘a spiritual understanding of Him’ and an ‘unselved love.’
Kinda makes you ask yourself:
Do I think all things are possible to God?
Do I believe that any sickness can be healed?
Do I truly believe anyone can be reformed, including me?

Well, that’s when it started…I grew to have a deeper awareness of the nature of God as Love to whom all things were possible.

“God is Love. Can we ask Him to be more? God is intelligence. Can we inform the infinite Mind of anything He does not already comprehend? Do we expect to change perfection? Shall we plead for more at the open fount which is pouring forth more than we accept?” (p. 2:23).

From that passage alone, I’ve learned that if anything is dancing around in my thought that says ‘this needs to change,’ it’s really my view that needs changing—about the truth of God’s nature and man’s reflection as His creation–and not me needing to tell God to change it. I started believing anything—any discord—could be healed—from self-hatred, to regret about the past, to broken hearts, to fearing the future, and even the stuff we think is par for the course: disease or suffering of any kind.

Now it’s not just an overnight conviction. Feels that way now though. But what’s helped me broaden my view of the true nature of God has been cultivating my own relationship with Spirit, my own spirituality through living more that divine nature.

“What we most need is the prayer of fervent desire for growth in grace, expressed in patience, meekness, love, and good deeds…..The habitual struggle to be always good is unceasing prayer.” (p. 4:3, 12).

I sooo love this! It breaks prayer down into qualities: being good, expressing grace, striving for patience, embodying meekness and being loving! Those are doable, right? ☺

So….a shift from doubting God could do certain things to realizing a truer sense of his nature as Divine Love…and a shift from feeling a great disconnect with God to realizing I share a oneness with Spirit that can be lived. Just two huge aha’s I’ve gleaned from my study. Prayer really is something that doesn’t have to scare us ever. It’s how we think and what we live and anyone can do it!

Eager to hear your thoughts and what you’re finding as you read that chapter. And if you don’t have a copy of Science and Health, click on that title to order from Amazon.

As always, email me with any questions: or send a comment and tell me how best to respond to you.

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