So…in the last post, I wrote about how I was praying to make a decision.
Progress…I’m moving forward in one direction and there’s complete calm in my heart about it.
But something occurred since my last post: I have this amazing opportunity to scootch away for about 10 days to attend a work related conference.
On the surface, this new potential option is a hiccup in my overall scheme of things. I am currently staying with a relative and had planned to wrap it up here at the end of the month, go back to where my belongings/vehicle are and move.
Then I learned about this conference and started thinking ‘Oh, if only I could get to that somehow.” Didn’t seem feasible given all other logistics ….But something nudged me to inquire.
Everything under the sun was saying ‘there’s no way you’re gonna be able to make this happen.’ Flight cost, hotel cost, registration fee, not to mention the logistics of navigating a big city.
All of a sudden, the confidence I’d felt and the peace about my overall moving plan went haywire again. I started panicking about how going to the conference would fit in with all other things.
And so I shut down, told myself to forget about it and just proceed with simple, easy, navigable direction.
All fine except I was up all night feeling compelled to get to the conference. So…at 1 am the other night, I emailed the coordinator and told her of my interest in attending and asked about any volunteer options. All the while writing the email I was feeling two things: calm inner peace for proceeding forward vs. this cackling accusatory condemnation telling me I was a big loo loo for thinking there’s any chance there’d be a way to get to this conference.
Still I proceeded on. My prayer was honest and pure: “Show me where to go” and surrounding that plea was conviction I can’t make a mistake (see former entries).
Within a few hours, she’d emailed that she’d be happy to comp my whole entry fee.
And with that, my mental groove shifted gears and I started plotting lodging and logistics.
And here I sit 24 hours later with a place to stay for free, a plan to work an event for free, and a really good feeling that this is what I need to be doing.
So why am I bloggin about it?
Because another red flag is blaring: What to do with my dog.
I can leave him here. I can bring him with me. If I leave him here, I have to fly back to get him. If I take him with, I don’t have to think about coming back here. On the one hand it seems less mess to just leave him. But on another hand, my whole experience with my dog shows me that he’s not a burden, he’s a part of my life and is a support, not a distraction.
So I take a few moments to pray about it this morning.
I realize that if it’s right for me to attend this meeting, there’s gotta be provisions to care for all my ‘loved ones’…whether my dog or whomever else is a part of my life.
All that is clamoring that once again I could make a mistake is just a big bunch of muck. It’s so clear to me how this opposing voice works. It’s a constant attempt to distract us.
But Mind’s thought is crystal clear….complete….unburdened…fearless….free.
What’s more, the friend I’m staying with wants me to bring the pooch. She wants our dogs to meet and have play time together.
So once again, in the face of fearing I will make a mistake, I surround myself in the awareness that I am willing and open to do what is right. I pause, open my eyes, and who’s at the base of my feet grring to go outside for a walk? my dog.
It’s a clear answer. He’s coming with me!
So once again, forward movement and clarity appears attacked with sabotage of self condemnation and guilt or fear. I know that pull too well to cave anymore. All negatives, all oppositions to good are false thoughts.
I feel at peace knowing that there are provisions both for me and my dog. He’s very much a part of my journey and it’s right for him to come…
I make the decision to bring him. I feel calm. And I’m once again reminded of the wonder of life’s harmonic flow.
So…..this is me reminding you that even when you think you may make a mistake, you have enough knowledge right now to calm yourself down and figure out the next steps that will help you make a decision…..Let it flow…..No obstructions….
Off to book my flight!
For anyone interested, I’m off to blogher.com’s conference in Chicago: www.blogher.com
It’s gonna be a great weekend and I’ll blog about it so stay tuned…..
Til the next post, be well…..Tre 🙂