Grace, forgiveness, compassion endure….

Hey to all….

I’m writing a bit more to add to the former lengthy post….

Heather Armstrong of Dooce.com has added her 2cents on her experience being interviewed on the Today Show.

Kudos to Heather. She comments with poise, grace, and compassion…and albeit down right honesty. She tells all her readers that even before going live Kathy Lee Gifford expressed relatability on being criticized by viewers for speaking about her family on air. So prior to any live footage, the two were united in common ground: they know the value of sharing personal stories with viewers/readers. And they know the costs. But do it anyway.

Heather compassionately handles the retelling of then what happened on air.

She also goes a step further.

She invites others to interview bloggers to try to wrap their arms around why this endeavor is as successful for some as it is..what the validity is among blogging communities. In short she invites broadcast media to have another chance.

I applaud this response. She doesn’t offer any sense of hurt, torn ego or anger and resentment.

She treats this issue well and professionally.

Why do I write about it thus?

Because my own maturing sense of grace yearns to treat people this same way. I could list 100’s of times when my motives have been called into question, when my style is bawked or condemned. And regrettably, I can not boast having taken the higher ground 50% of the time.

Surely I’m learning to. But the ego gets in there, self justifies and basically says ‘well to heck w/ them. if they don’t get it, so be it. i don’t have time for this’ and moves on.

Hello.

Where is the humanity in that?

Now in fairness, I haven’t maintained that disposition for a few years probably more. But I’m still well aware of when my feelings have been hurt, when I’ve felt wrongly accused, criticized and even fired for misjudgements of my character or misinterpretations of my motives.

In the long run, I’ve learned and am learning still it is ALWAYS better to respond with grace, poise, and compassion. Forgiveness needs to come as well and will.

At one point in my journey I was offered a job I had to move cross country for. I was promised a great salary with benefits. Come to find out a few months into that scenario, the reality was the job was never really budgeted for and before 90 days was up I was given my notice.

Crushed, bewildered, frantic, and furious, I was angry…very. I became resentful and dug myself into a great big pit of despair for far too long to admit. I’d trusted, really felt it was a good fit and then whammo! Ousted before I had even acclimated to this new area.

Shortly thereafter I learned that even had the job been approved, my qualifications would not have measured up. Okay. Humbling to learn but okay.

Still, I fumed over this for a long, long while. It got personal. I spent way too much time being angry at a few people and myself as well. I felt so stupid, naive, and clammed up on my sense of trusting humanity. For a while I felt used, exploited and taken advantage of.

Lemme tell ya where those negative emotions got me. NOWHERE. Absolutely nowhere.

Anger and hatred, bitterness and resentment never get you anywhere. And sure, you can kid yourself that you’re gonna lock all that emotion up and put it into a mental trunck and never again open it, or that you’ll just not think about that stuff anymore and never trust THOSE people again.

Try it. You are kidding yourself if you can simultaneously maintain a sense of peace.

In fact, during the aftermath, a few months into the saga while I was volunteering in a few different capacities, still fuming inwardly from my rejection, I broke out with a heinous fever and was in bed for days. It was the dead of winter. And I had a dog to take care of. Fortunately my neighbors helped me. But at that point, I knew I couldn’t just stew on my anger.

I needed healing.

And in my life for healing I turn to prayer based on the ideas in Science and Health. Day in and day ou,t I prayed like I do whenever I am treating myself. And day by day the fever broke a bit. But it would zip back up to really uncomfortable levels.

Well, during this time, a few people came to mind who I’d locked up in the trunk of “You are justified to despise these individuals.” UGH! I can’t stand admitting I even felt this way. But I did.

YET, divine Love was doing its work….was striving to embrace me with innocence and bathe me in goodness and was having a tough time doing so because my sense of ego and will were just right up there justifying these feelings.

Wasn’t gonna cut it. You can’t strive to be the emanation of divine Love while also harboring anger and resentment and loathing anyone or anything.

Aware of this, I started to walk down that path of forgiveness. I didn’t want to. I ADMIT IT.

Self justification was all over this effort screaming “What are ya kiddin’ me? You have every right to loathe this person for what he/she did to you. They don’t deserve forgiveness.’

OH REALLY?

Think again.

For the next 24 hours, I thought about shifting my perspective and aiming to see spiritually each of these individuals I’d dumped into that mental trunk. Bit by bit I took my thoughts of each one and considered each of them as a child of God. And I asked myself over and over “Tre, how is divine Love seeing its expression as this person? Tre, is divine Love seeing an example of manhood or womanhood that it created that can harm another?”

In fact, the heinous things people do are moments of hiccups of behavior, attitude, being. They are not the true nature of that person. No one wake up and bounds outa bed to take advantage of someone. NO ONE DOES. If they do this, it’s because of a pattern of behavior. But it’s changeable and it’s not their true nature and substance.

As a spiritual seeker and person who practices the Science of Being as explained in Eddy’s Science and Health, I’ve vowed to take up all that opposes the true nature of someone and advocate for his or her true individuality. So nothing was different in my view of these people that had wronged me.

I needed to flush out all the ill will and anger I felt. I needed to stop thinking of them as heinous people and mean people and worthless people and no good people. I needed to see them purely, wholely spiritually.

Would my doing this inevitably change their outward dispositions and actions? Not necessarily. But it WOULD heal my wrong sense of them.

And this is key to healing.

It is not mine or yours to ensure that someone change their ways and be a poised, graceful, honest, fair, just, compassionate individual. It is our duty to insist that such is their true nature, regardless if we’re shown this behavior or not.

In my case, as I let go of all the hatred, as I sought to find each aspect of good that each one of these people manifested, my fever broke. It took a bit…but it did finally break and I was able to join up with some family and spend a normal (somewhat) holiday with them. I say somewhat b/c in my family nothing is ever quite normal. 🙂

Anyhoo, I could write more and more about how Iprayed, about how iIhealed my loathing toward these folks…And I probably will. For now my point: harboring resentment, hatred, or anger toward anyone, no matter how justified, will never get you where you need to go in your own journey. In fact, harboring this muckety muck will slow you down tremendously.

So no matter what, get into that thought of yours and start weeding out all the muck all the huggabaloo and all the icky stuff. You can do it. You deserve to do it. And what’s more, humanity deserves nothing less.

Enjoy your journey. Shoot me an email or gimme a call if you want some help with any of this or just wanna chat about it.

Be well….Tre 😉 evolveserenity@gmail.com; 305/394.1070 (At&t unlimited mins)

Advertisements

I am not a wasted life…and neither are you…..

I have often wondered how many of us wake up – women especially – and beat themselves up….mentally…….

I used to struggle a lot with this. And still do to some degree.
The accusations ran the gammit….but were always heinous attacks on my individuality….

You’re ugly, a wasted life, no good, no use, not needed, you’re fat, gross, mean, selfish, a disappointment to your family, you have no meaningful relationships, everything you love leaves or ends, you are a disgrace to womanhood, you don’t know how to do your job…

You name it, I thought it.
And this is only a snippet of the more ‘gental’ kinds of self criticism.
It’s been heinously evil and worse. And for years drove me to being abusive to myself.

It wasn’t until I learned how to defend myself, my innocence, my true substance, against these attacking comments that I started to find some freedom. But it took daily, moment to moment work, and sometimes still does….

Whatever attacks, whatever accuses, criticizes, condemns….is not ever your thought. I know it comes that way because you think it and it uses the pronoun ‘you’ and calls you a dumbass or a stupid idiot or whatever.

IT IS NEVER YOUR THOUGHT.

It is always the anti truth that seems to be your thought.

REPEAT: IT IS NEVER YOUR THOUGHT.

Why?
Because it is NEVER the voice of God expressing itself as Truth. It is the counterfeit—the seeming power and intelligence that tries to establish some kind of authority in our lives.

Left unguarded against, our thoughts can become sponges to its influence. But met and mastered with Truth, it will dissipate and cease to influence.

I’m talking about a mental onslaught that NO ONE HAS TO FALL VICTIM TO EVER.

But we often don’t’ know this. And in believing that we’re the source of the condemnation, many of us do things to mentally run away from the attack…..stay busy, drink, do drugs, whatever…anything to avoid standing still and hearing the negative crap.

But you don’t have to run away. And you know what else? No matter how much you run, that doesn’t destroy the condemning.

The ONLY thing that destroys it is to meet it head on mentally with truths about your individuality….truths about the One Mind.

Every single morning now, I arm myself with the spiritual facts of being.
I pray this way:

This moment is God’s, the divine Mind’s and right now this moment, the ONLY thing going on is an awareness of Truth and the expression of it. Truth is spiritual and is seen and known and felt in all that is goodness, all that is joy, all that is purity, innocence, honesty and peaceful. Right now this moment, as the very idea of the divine Mind, I embody Truth. I am not simply a form but an expression of being. I have only the substance of love, of goodness, of purity, of strength, of honesty, of intelligence.
Whatever is mine to do, I know and I will know.
Whatever is not mine to do will fall away.
I am influenced by Spirit, not by ego. And I will discern when the misinfluence comes and I will have the wisdom to see and know that anything hateful, derogatory, condemning or evil is not ever my thinking and thus I do not have to fall victim to its pull.
Any evil influence is nothing but a false belief in a power opposed to Truth. False beliefs have no real foundation or basis, are lies, and have no power except if I believe them. So I will work to see and know the nothingness of these lies and I am right now completely free from any of their attacks. The divine Mind holds guard over my thinking and is a constant present influence of Love in my life. I will feel and know this Love supporting and sustaining me and I will see tangible proofs of this Love in the caring of my every need. I am right now whole, pure, free and loved.

I pray this way now and it has made all the difference. Much of what I pray about I learned through reading Mary Baker Eddy’s Science and Health, to me a complete statement about the Science of Being, the truth of the nature of God and man and their inseparable relationship.

No one is a victim of evil, ever. And none of us have to fall victim to the heinous accusatory condemnations of any power or influence that is opposed to Love.

For each one of us it’s different. Maybe you don’t deal with self image stuff. Maybe you fight attacks on your ability or intelligence or capability or experience or know how.

Whatever the condemnation, KNOW THIS: IT IS NOT EVER YOUR THOUGHT, IT IS NOT EVER TRUE ABOUT YOU, and YOU DO NOT EVER HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT OR BE DUPED BY IT FOR A SINGLE MOMENT.

You are this moment the idea of Mind and as such you are only the substance of wisdom, honesty, intellect, beauty, grace, purity and innocence.

Whatever denies this is bunk and not true.
And you do not ever have to fall victim to its accusations. In fact the more you fight them and prove their lying nature, the more they’ll fall away. Trust me. I’m an expert in this regard! ☺

Lemme know if you have more questions or wanna chat about fighting off the condemning muck. You are free this moment even if you feel like you’re wallowing….even if you feel like you’re a wreck…even if you feel hopeless or ugly or a complete failure. YOU ARE MORE THAN OKAY. You are loved….and you are whole this moment, no matter what the muck screams or attacks.

Leave a comment, shoot me an email, or gimme a call. I’m happy to help you with more about what worked for me…….and completely willing to walk you through how to learn how to fight off this stuff yourself.

YOU ARE MORE THAN OKAY. YOU ARE COMPLETE AND WHOLE RIGHT NOW.

Keep at it….carve away the muck….the beautiful sculpture that is you is right here.
Be well and much love, Tre ☺

The unconditional love of resolve and intent

Resolve and intent ….of late I’ve been thinking of them as true friends…who never let go, never turn their back, never give up.

They linger on…sometimes quietly, with subtle nudges, oftentimes more vocal with firm insistances…but always with supportive, persistent advocacy reminding you to perserveer.

And they both do so with grace, unyielding patience, trust, and knowing.

It’s like they know they’ve got you….They know you won’t and really can’t abandon them. They’re not an old style you pitch or donate. And you can’t craig’s list or ebay ’em. And surely they’re not a passing fad, trend, or phase you’re going through.

Nope. Resolve and intent stick around. Like the companion we probably each pine for….they don’t leave, they never say ‘let’s be just friends’, they don’t neglect, they never reject, never say ‘see ya’ no matter how much you don’t return their phone calls, emails, requests to get together, or how much you resist them. No way to run from them. They’ve kinda gotcha.

Why all this metaphoric writing?

Well, it may sound ridiculous to some, but it’s because of them–my constant companioning with resolve and intent –that i’m even on this page to begin with. Try as i might to run away from them, avoid them, stand them up, neglect or ignore them, they don’t leave. They know better than to be duped by the self condemning wailings that I’ve been misinfluenced by. They know better than to agree with me when I’ve been mistakingly convinced I have nothing worthy of saying. They flat out refuse to agree with the self-absorbed voice of weakness and self pity.

In truth? Resolve and intent are like my spiritual armor I can always rely on, like the most devoted of companions. They won’t let me fall apart and drift into that sea of abyss of self condemnation. And the more I chisel thought as to understand why, resolve and intent are our very true core essence definers if you will. They know our heart of hearts and will defend this inner yearning forevermore…or so it seems.

So how can you distinguish your own inner heart of hearts yearnings and pullings?

Just be honest….just listen….and above all…just let yourself silence all that clamors, pulls, weighs down and sabotages your individuality….all that abuses or disturbs your peace..all that sabotages and attacks your innocence.

How do you do this?

Shut your mental door. Lock it. And refuse to allow into your thoughts anything and everything that tears you down. I don’t care if it’s banging the door down and trying to break in. I don’t care if it’s coming in the guise of your mom’s voice, your dad’s voice, your boyfriend’s, husband’s, boss’, brother’s, sister’s or friend’s voice…and it doesn’t matter a bit more if it’s knocking on the door of thought as your own voice.

Whatever is clamoring for attention and acceptance, if it’s condemning and sabotaging, is not true. And you owe it nothing. You owe it nothing. YOU OWE IT NOTHING. Not a peek, not a glance, not a whisper, not one word. You owe nothing to this would be condemner.

Rather do you owe everything to carving out your resolve and intent…the inner most you…your real yearnings and heart to heart pullings. These are your true substance, your true essence, your spirituality. And these deserve your defending and proving, your advocating and living. Be who they are pulling you to be. Because this innermost core you is the truth of your being. And as you sculpt your thoughts and carve off the muck that counters your resolve and intent, your true essence will shine. And your resolve and intent will rule the moment…..thought by thought.

I’ll leave off with a poem I first read as a child. It’s called “Life Sculpture”….you’ll see why….enjoy! and don’t forget to leave a comment or be in touch another way if you wanna chat more about any of the above…..and as always…thank you for reading…and happy sculpting! 🙂 ….Tre ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life Sculpture, by George Washington Doane

CHISEL in hand stood a sculptor boy
With his marble block before him,
And his eyes lit up with a smile of joy,
As an angel-dream passed o’er him.

He carved the dream on that shapeless stone,
With many a sharp incision;
With heaven’s own light the sculpture shone,–
He’d caught that angel-vision.

Children of life are we, as we stand
With our lives uncarved before us,
Waiting the hour when, at God’s command,
Our life-dream shall pass o’er us.

If we carve it then on the yielding stone,
With many a sharp incision,
Its heavenly beauty shall be our own,–
Our lives, that angel-vision.