Hey to all…
Today, June 4th, has been dubbed ‘blogblast for peace‘ day by a blogger friend, ‘mimiwrites’.
Read about her campaign for peace.
You will find her blog thought provoking and heart felt.
A true inspiration….
Hey to all…
Today, June 4th, has been dubbed ‘blogblast for peace‘ day by a blogger friend, ‘mimiwrites’.
Read about her campaign for peace.
You will find her blog thought provoking and heart felt.
A true inspiration….
An unwanted change in a relationship…
A desire to leave the familiar when it’s too painful to live amidst…
A yearning for a new beginning…
Sometimes the urgency you feel to get over hurt, painful feelings keeps us in 5th gear moving full steam ahead.
Heck, with me, I know there’s been a few times I’ve just scaled down to whatever I can fit in my car and hit the road, sometimes driving from one coast til another only stopping because there wasn’t anywhere further west that I could drive.
And while change in scenery, getting rid of stuff, and acquiring new props can alter your surroundings rather quickly, shifts in the heart take a bit longer.
By shifts in the heart, I’m meaning the letting go of loving someone.
So how do you get there? To that place? Where you’ve moved past anger, resentment and pain from being unloved or from not being able to connect with the someone you felt you were in love with?
To me, it’s a moment to moment journey…one that requires not so much a welling up of anger every time you think of him or her…but a willingness to trust that what governs your now propels you into those situations, experiences, and relationships which support you, and sustain your journey every moment.
And so this means that this same influence may cause a natural –even though it doesn’t feel natural—parting of that which doesn’t support you or your journey.
What I continue to see is that often a ‘no’ is really a yes to other things. And this can be a huge comfort when the parting is unwanted or unexpected like a divorce or a break up.
While it takes practice and a disciplining of thought, if you feel overwhelmed with utter emptiness over the thought of not having him or her in your life anymore, try as ever you are able to get still and hush the mental arguing and murmuring in your thinking.
You know…all that stuff that says “I should have been this way or that way” or “he should have done this or that” or whatever….And I’m being really generic here…but you know …all those thoughts that blame, accuse, condemn and most of all, the thoughts that condemn or accuse yourself.
Instead, when thought is still, bathe yourself in the truth that you are whole and complete this moment. You need no one at this moment to complete you or fulfil you. You are not empty, alone, afraid or unworthy of love.
Hug yourself in the knowledge that your very existence is the evidence of divine Love’s care and that each moment you are the expression of its whole being.
Because of this, any and all pangs of loneliness, fear, regret or anger, even though they come to mind as ‘what am I going to do?” or ‘How could s/he do that to me?” or ‘who am I gonna be with now?” or “who am I gonna share my moments with now”—even though the ego wears that disguise, it only gets you to respond because you are right now vulnerable in those areas.
To the degree that you fill yourself full with the simple truth that you are whole now…you are complete now…you are loved this moment and you are cared for and adored this moment, to the degree you allow these truths to flood your awareness, a few things will shift:
a. you will feel less and less pulled down by the suggestions of the ego.
b. you will be convinced less and less that those sentiments are the truth(the fear, emptiness, anger, or regret).
c. you will start to feel a perpetual stillness that completes you and allows you to feel peace within.
In looking back over the last decade, I see where time and again my pain lessened to the degree I applied these lessons. And what’s more, my thoughts reopened to sharing my life in new ways. There wasn’t always a new relationship. Often times I had months of solodom. But never ‘alone-dom.’
More and more I am seeing that while the desire to partner with another is a beautiful hope, the ability to evolve a sense of completeness within as a perpetual being, regardless of whether you’re in or out of relationship, is really key to days filled with a consistent sense of joy and peace.
Sweet sister of mine….remember this: you are a rock…a beautiful woman whose vigor and grace, strength and determination have brought you many victories and many moments of glee. You are a woman of integrity, of might….of humility and unselved love. You’ve poured nothing less than your all into your now the past every year that i’ve known you…:) you’ve been a mom to me and a sister…and no matter what, no matter what, you are loved….and you know this. you know this because when you calm the stirrings of thought and the fears and the shocking news stories, you feel that calm tenderness and hug…..you are not ever alone. you know this. you know this. you know this…
on mother’s day and always i thank you for always being there for me…for listening and leaning…for holding and helping…and at a time in your life when i know you need some help too, remember always i am here….and that i love you…..
we are each worthy of another’s love. and we are each able to outpour love to millions. no matter how love is reciprocated, whether one to one or one to the multitudes…..always know that whatever you send forth you are blessed by and receive back.
a good friend reminded me of a few lines Mary Baker Eddy penned in Science and Health and I’m still ever learning their true meaning. And so I offer them to you as a form of comfort and hope and love….
“Human affection is not poured forth vainly, even though it meet no return. Love enriches the nature, enlarging, purifying, and elevating it. The wintry blasts of earth may uproot the flowers of affection, and scatter them to the winds; but this severance of fleshly ties serves to unite thought more closely to God, for Love supports the struggling heart until it ceases to sigh over the world and begins to unfold its wings for heaven. ” (p.57:22)
I’m inspired by your stedfast trust…and pause in awe and deep gratitude for your strength. You just keep on keeping on my sweet sis….Love is nudging you and leading you right where and as you need to be.
Happy Mother’s Day sweet sis o mine 🙂
I was up most of the night…thinking…..getting still….not giving in to a lot of unknowns that keep flashing in my thought like banners on a webpage…
Sometimes, the pull to feel anxious over uncertainty outweighs the pull to get calm and still and focused. A really close friend reminds me at times ‘Tre, use your rational mind.” I of course gasp at his big grown up word because in those moments I can’t navigate what’s rationale vs. irrationale. For me, when I’m anxious I become 8 years old. I get lost in that mind mapping….and most of the thoughts mulling about are probably all a bit irrational…
So tonight, as I listened to the multiple sounds of puppies breathing and watched the squirming squiggles of little dachsund bodies dreaming while sleeping, I reached out in thought to grab hold of that all presence of Love I’ve come to trust holds guard over everything…every last detail.
There’s a lot of questions I have….a lot that’s still not yet settled for me…..I’m sifting through a few options on where to dwell permanently, I’m sorting through some financial matters on what I can spend for rent…I’m feeling tugged by a few opportunities that would have me be in three different states at once….a project I long to birth keeps getting put on hold, and then the ongoing considerations of personal growth and goals I seek to fulfil…
But tonight, I took a leave of absence from all these pulls of me…and I went instead to that realm where the affirming of this all presence of Love that is holding guard over all is already establishing the order, governance, and principled outcome of each one of its ideas.
Wars cease with shifts in thinking.
Poverty lessens when humanity outpours love.
Potential violence toward another dissipates when a human heart remembers hope.
Can I commit to insisting these thought shifts are occurring?
By entrenching my own thoughts in that which will evolve peace in my own life….that which will outpour love in my own daily doings, that which will oppress anger and silence my irritated thought that wants to blurt out something unkind.
You hear that statement ‘Be the change”….
Thought by thought we can each create anew our lives…..
I was thinking about this tonight…and a calm sweet assurance of hope came over me……I went to the web and found this sweet campaign: hope revolution….where one woman just started putting notes of hope around a city and blogged about it…and it spread to other cities…and then her friend is now taking these notes of hope with her on her visit to Rwanda which came about simply through her own blog about a woman she met from there and how their budding friendship is now blossoming into a campaign to help further girls’ education in Rwanda.
I think: surely, one thought shift opens the door for broader views and more expanded thinking……
There’s no stagnancy or complacency or apathy where thought embraces possibility …even possibility in the moment.
There’s no shunning of the irreplaceable value of the moment when one sees each as a foundational stepping stone.
There’s no ounce of room for fear when all that is desired can be broken down into manageable step by step, moment by moment, thought by thought doings……
And so I pause …..feel whole……feel calm…..and feel hope…..and recall the beauty of the rain, the real world, one voice ( songs by fave female vocalists)…..and this calm envelopes me and tenderly reminds me: truth is occurring……peace is unfolding…..love is being…..
The sun is coming out….
Today was a bit dark and rainy….all day. Kinda like my mood this past weekend. I’ve had a lot of dark moments, a lot of lows. Been really angry and disappointed over someone’s actions. And it’s a time of really feeling like my sense of hope in humanity is really being challenged.
I’ve always sought to find the good in others and surely this hasn’t changed.
Innately, each one of us is an expression of Spirit, of the all loving, all present Being that is the one Mind. Surely we don’t see this character exhibited 24/7 by every human we know let alone ourselves. So choosing to defend that this true nature is the substance of everyone’s character…well some may laugh that this is even an intention or goal I have. But I do and I will keep on striving to defend each person’s spiritual substance, no matter what.
Yet when I feel attacked or when someone I love has been really wronged or harmed, it’s so hard to get past the human emotions of anger and bitterness..of resentment or frustration.
But still I strive and so I must. Because to be influenced by evil never does an ounce of good. …not for myself….not for my sibling…not for the whole of humanity.
I grew up learning the lesson to forgive my enemies. And so I tried to my whole childhood on into adulthood. But back then, I know I had a hard time with this. Because back then I felt like my forgiveness would somehow off them of the wrong they’d done. Like somehow the names they called me or whatever they stole from me (crimes of my elementary peers) was somehow tolerable because I wanted more to be their friend. For years I was taken advantage of I see now because a lot of my peers learned through my behavior that indeed I tolerated verbal abuse. In fact during one 6th grade lunch where the boys were against the girls in this tug of war thing, during my rather chubbier years, I distinctly remember one peer saying ‘Oh, that’s just Tresha the tubbolard. She won’t mind if you call her fat names. We’ve done it so much by now and she’s always your pal in the end.’
Something like that. Oddly enough, this same guy would be my date to the senior prom 6 years later. But what I’m getting to is that in the many years since 6th grade, I’ve learned so much more about the nature of that lesson to forgive your enemies.
To me it’s not at all anymore about growing tolerant of another’s wrong doings. Rather, it’s committing yourself to loving his/her true nature inspite of his/her wrong doing. Forgiveness is like a public affirmation that states “I’m willing to defend your true core and essence and to really love and cherish that about you.’
But here’s what forgiveness is not: it is not tolerance for evil of any kind. It is not weak heartedness that fears standing up for what is principled and what is honorable and what is moral. It is not defending someone’s wrong doing because somehow that wrong doing was justified.
Forgiveness doesn’t even mean you will stay close with another. But it does mean you will defend in your heart of hearts that person’s true substance is spiritual and therefore whole and free from all inclination toward wrongdoing.
The rains have subsided for this evening…and the sun is coming out again at least to share it’s final moments before it sets (and yes, I know, one day I’ll write the truth that the sun really isn’t setting at all, rather is the earth rotating….it just sounds so much more poetic)…and so with that rotation and seemingly setting of the sun, the light is appearing…and so too is it in my heart.
Surely my anger has subsided greatly….surely my frustration and sorrow are subsiding much. And at least for this hour I am finding myself able to move past my anger toward this other and really reach the depth of where I need to be: in cherishing his innate innocence and goodness. For in truth the ray of love he exudes hasn’t ever waned. And so I pray….
Hey….probably good to write every now and again while I’m in the midst of praying my way instead of blogging once I’ve found my way through.
Tough news is just that: tough. No way around it. Not gonna cover it up. It can break your heart. It can make you angry. It can make you fall apart and wanna cave it for a good…..long……while.
I got some really tough news recently. Really tough.
I’m angry, hurt, bitter, feel betrayed and used, like I wanna scream. Someone I love has been hurt and my heart is tearing up inside.
I know right this moment I MUST make make a choice. Either get control of these emotions and the reality of what’s going on or they will control me. Either wallow around in this anger as justified as my ego argues, or establish in thought right this moment what is governing and ruling the hour and respond to THAT.
Sure, my ego is screaming. But more importantly, I am already fully aware of the calm, strong currents of Divine Love and its creation. And the duty of the moment is to shift thought THERE.
How? How can I or you or anybody push passed the emotions when you feel self justified? By taking a stand for reality..that is spiritual.
Mary Baker Eddy has helped me understand this a lot. She writes a ton about thought….how to train it and manage it..in Science and Health. A fave line states “Hold thought steadfastly to the enduring, the good and the true and you will bring these into your experience proportionably as to the occupancy of your thoughts.”
So with this situation then, my thought immediately reaches out.
I ask “What’s the enduring, the good and the true that I can hold to right this moment? What is really going on?”
The enduring….what is lasting…is the simple yet profound fact of the divine Being..God..and His idea..man….held inseparably in a panoply of Love. The only thing EVER going on is this conscious activity of Love being itself and expressing itself as creation…including you and me. None of us ever fall from this divine stronghold. None of us ever are separated for a moment from it.
Any human circumstance that suggests otherwise can be seen as the misrespresentation of this spiritual fact.
It really boils down to: what are you going to believe is really going on
Go back to that question….What’s enduring? what’s good? what’s true?
I’ve written a bit on the enduring.
What’s good and what’s true?
Good is the very nature of God and hence of man’s real character.
What’s true is the essence of that nature. Man is innocent, tender, loving, compassionate, strong, honest, obedient and principled.
So in praying, I defend this. It’s like getting into thought and refusing to believe the material picture as the truth of someone’s character. A mirage always seems real until you get up closer. There’s no water there. Same with personalities and character.
Working and praying like this demands you shift from reading the material picture to discerning the spiritual fact…to wrap our thoughts around reality…and defend the true nature of God and man even amidst the scenario where so much is arguing its opposite
You have to lift your thought OUT of the present situation blaring in your mind of what just happened by someone else to the person you love….You have to lift thought up to DEFEND with all your heart and soul and mind WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON IN REALITY.
I’m not saying ‘deny that this wrong doing occurred.’
I am saying forgive, love through it, because you defend the true nature of someone’s spirituality.
Now on the surface, this doesn’t erase the shock and pain of the circumstance. But it keeps thought off the pull to condemn, slander, or ridicule. It keeps thought out of the anger and hatred. Mind you, whenever anyone does anything that’s self centered, he or she ends up punishing themselves because he or she has to face their own thinking. And while I hope for someone’s immediate wake up call to see the wrong that’s been done and to apologize for it and change his or her ways, sometimes we don’t see that change of thought. But we can still defend the true nature of man is steering that person’s behavior.
This is hard stuff sometimes….to defend another’s truth. Much argues against doing so. Much will try to sway you to feel justified in being angry at another. But it doesn’t help. Anger or resentment will never bring healing.
Reality is spiritual–Mary Baker Eddy writes in Science and Health. That doesn’t negate the realness of our now experience. But it does require that we lift it out of just the physical realm. The current of Truth is ALWAYS AT WORK….lifting thoughts up, redeeming MOMENTS, and helping each one of us forgive, forgive, forgive.
Why forgive when there’s so much wrong that’s been done?
Well, bring that question back home: have YOU ever done something you regretted that hurt another? Were you conscious you were hurting someone else and did it anyway? Too many of us can say yes to that question and I don’t care if it’s you scraped off the icing off the top of the cake your mom just made your sister for her birthday (true story I was a chubbo 8 year old and snuck sweets anywhere I could find them). …or if it’s worse….if it’s befriending someone you know is in the midst of another relationship to be a source of comfort to that person…all the while you justify you’re just being a friend to them and yet you know in your heart you’re falling for them and you end up really hurting yourself…(yep, another true story, happened when I was in college)….or even still more recently, I had to go silent for a while and just cut myself off from family for a while to get some ducks in a row that I needed to without a lot of unsolicited, though well meaning opinions…this hurt them much and I knew it would. But I had to take care of me….more on that later.
So see, I surely just thought of those 3 things right here sitting here without a whole lot of thought and there’s probably hundreds more I could write about…..We each have done things without intentionally trying to hurt someone else ……
So it’s vital in thought to steer it and keep it on what is true…that the presence of Love is the only atmosphere I dwell in or anyone else dwells in. That right at this moment, all of us are being influenced only by that which is honest, pure, genuine, and unselved. That at any moment, if our actions seem to stray, that we are not lost or victimized. That at any moment, anyone can be freed from a misinfluence or misunderstanding of his or her true nature.
It would seem that loneliness or rejectedness or feeling like a failure would dominate thought and lead it to commit acts that are foreign to our inclinations. But knowing this tendency, if someone’s actions do fall far from what you’d otherwise expect, you can and I can have compassion toward them and just keep holding their truth up in thought as we think of them: that this individual is a child of God and reflects only the substance of Love, of Truth, and as such is a wholely good and loving individual.
Defending reality will free your thought up from thinking any one individual is an evil doer. Evil is never the person …it is simply a mass of wrong thoughts that for a moment dominate another. But it is never that person’s true character or nature…..
Bare with me as it may seem I’m rambling.
This is the work of the hour that really matters…to heal and renew all of our thoughts about another. To lift thought out of the muck of judgement, criticism, attacking slander. And to keep thought on the truth of someone’s spirituality.
So as I do this in my own thinking, my anger lessens. And I begin to hold in thought only the true nature of this other one’s character. And this healing influence does settle my anger.
It will take more times praying like this….I know….to completely once and for all heal the sting that that anger and resentment try to persuade. But I will keep on. Because I know that all of us are Love’s creation. None of us intentionally wake up to harm another. And all of us can be freed from misinfluences. And most importantly, if we’ve been wronged by another, all of us can feel the healing comfort of divine Love’s embrace. That is our right. And it’s worth every ounce of our thought in defending.