Seemless flow….

You get an inclination. You act on it. You make a decision. Whoosh. Cool. Big weight leaves thought. Freedom returns all but for one thing: the logistics that have to happen in order to allow you the ability to act on this decision….

Obstacle or opportunity?

Stumbling block or arena for proving patience and perserverance?

Well, talk to me last week and I woulda said OBSTACLE!!!! STUMBLING BLOCK!!!! and i woulda added a ton of exasperation as well.

A decision I’ve been putting off I finally committed to. Lock, stock, barrel ready to dive in.

I saw my way through all the necessaries to make the decision actualized except for some of the logisitics.

There’s been a lot of stumbling blocks and seeming obstacles to having those come together.

Concurrent to my own problematic situations, my sister’s taking on a move that’s come together seemlessly except for the cable /internet installation. The company goofed on her order, started service at the new location, cancelled it at the current one and she’s spent upwards of 10+ hours on the phone trying to square it all up.

Exasperated? Yup.

Sick of that cable company? Yup.

Despising the process of moving? Yup.

As she finagled her way through all the loopholes of the set up and installation of her new service I watched her joy and wonder over new beginnings get zapped by frustration with seeming incompetence and poor follow through.

And I watched how I absorbed that same reacting to my own stumbling blocks.

And I watched how I started sounding like a squawking peacock “nothing’s ever easy. this decision may be a good one but good luck having it unfold harmoniously.” I even watched myself bop myself over the head one time too many blaming myself for procrastinating…had I done this a year ago, things would have been different, blahdeeblah….

So what’s the deal? Do we always have to incur stumbling blocks with right decisions?

As we move forward with what best promotes our growth, are there always gonna be obstacles and mishaps?

Well, what if it’s not the obstacle that is the issue ?

What if the issue is how we respond?

If something is a right decision, why would we ever 2nd guess it or wonder about the timing?

And more, why would we ever fault ourselves or condemn ourselves if it’s not evolving harmoniously?

I’m no expert yet, and often find myself whining and wailing before I hush up long enough to regroup, check out my reacting wallowings, and take a deep breath to remember: at each and every moment, my life and everyone’s, is governed and sustained by Divine Love’s nudge. What typically reacts in disappointment or frustration is the human ego, the pull to be weighed down in self-justification and human will, especially out of a sense of control or power.

You and I do not need to exert power or will. We have only to walk forward and move forward with the conviction that each and every aspect of our lives is ordered and governed, sustained and supplied.

It’s not about controlling the outcome or orchestrating it. It’s about moving forward responding to those inner yearnings and then defending the right steps to shepherd the outcome are ocurring, again, in divine Love’s timing.

So in moments of angst, frustration or impatience, I’m reminded yet again that no barking at a flower made it bloom faster, no shouting at the oven made the cookies cook more rapidly, and no insisting willfully or arrogantly at our own lives will ever make them evolve more readily.

I’m humbled as I remember all is a moment to moment, thought by thought journey.

So if you’ve just made a decision that feels right for you, celebrate it and pause. And let the next days of living with this decision take shape naturally. You don’t have to steer it’s unfoldment or charge full steam ahead and dictate how it has to come together.

Pause and defend. Be still and know. Exude joy and feel loved….moment to moment and thought by thought. Good IS occurring and you are living it wholely and fully.

Enjoy your journey. 🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you wanna touch base about any of these ideas, email me: evolveserenity@gmail.com or leave a comment and I’ll be sure to respond asap. 🙂 Be well and much joy to you, Tre ~

Simple thoughts for the day

Make friends with the day. (See “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle).

Dig deeper: make friends with the moments actually….especially at night when the darkness looms.

Find the peace and embrace the beauty therein. (listen to/watch Dar Williams’ song “Beauty of the Rain”).

Walk the moment in awareness.

Feel connected to all.

Wonder at the awe of being. (listen to/watch The Wailin Jenny’s ‘Beautiful Dawn’).

Let go resentment.

Squelch fear.

Hush the ‘how comes’ and ‘whys’ the ‘pangs’ and ‘regrets’ over missing someone.

Silence the remorse over so much I didn’t say… so much I wanted to say….so much I didn’t know how to say.

Know he knows, she knows, they know.

Defend that the one Mind informs all of what they need to know — to live lives in peace.

Defend that divine Love embraces each heart and is right now fulfilling all with hope and love.

And when the day finds thought squirming about in confusion, unable to focus on truth, getting caught up in condemning and hurtful attacking thoughts or anger or worse, feeling anger toward all the injustice around us globally, REMEMBER to take moments to get still and know that one thought is all that is needed to bring peace.

Pause in gratitude for the glory that you are able to think and be that love you wish to see in the world…..and let that love mobilize into action with every conversation and interaction you share.

These will continue to be my goals for the moments….

What are yours?

Leave a comment and/or share how you carve out peace moment to moment…

Thanks for reading…Tre 🙂

Open to Love’s agenda

How fluid and flexible is your life’s agenda?
How open are you to responding to the call that comes for help?

I ask myself these questions pretty regularly.
I strive not to get too ‘staccato’ in my thinking or my actions.
I yearn to be ‘ready’ for the call that comes for help.

And, I used to think I was ready. I used to think I would respond at a given moment’s notice–especially if the call for help came from a family member or another loved one….

And then my sister called me to help her with a move….more of a transition to a new beginning, actually.

And while my initial yes quickly followed with flight arrangements and me traveling to another city, I felt some resistance brewing in my heart.

You see, I’ve been a bit willing to jump at the opportunity to help others and while it’s my nature to say yes to such offers, I’ve been pretty mobile the better part of the last year.

Yet more recently, I resolved to live in an area I adore.
And I am so thrilled with this tropical oasis that– rather ridiculously– I’ve resisted leaving, even to go pay a visit to my dad or mom who each live only a wee few hours’ drive north.

And yet…the latest request wasn’t a permanent change kinda thing. It was simply an offer to come help this transition.

So for a few days now, I’ve been sifting through why I still am resisting being here a bit…I know I’m helping and that feels honest and tender and true….

Last night I considered this feeling.
I’m not causing it.
I want to be here. I want to support my sister this way. I know how much it means to her to have my help but more to the point, I can’t imagine not supporting her transition right now. To me, family is about being there for one another, no matter how tough or ugly or painful it means, no matter how much time it takes. You endure together.

So rather than sift through why I was uncomfortable, I started mentally listing the reasons I’m grateful to be here with her right now:

Sharing lives….hearts…conversations…and hugs….moments where one welcomes another ‘in’…and lives intermingle, exchanging thoughts, feelings, wishes, regrets, fears, sorrows, hopes, dreams…

Days become building blocks of partnered new beginnings.

Check lists of to do’s turn into moments of holding hands and supporting one another.

Defending the spiritual fact of oneness to divine Love … how this spiritual fact comforts and heals any feeling of neglect, unworthiness, or loneliness.

These are just a few of the things inwardly I’ve been valuing about helping my sister at this time….

So why that pit of emptiness, fear within, and something unsettled in my heart?

Well, time and again I’ve seen this pattern: there’s often a pull to push you off track and make you feel a disconnect of some kind.

It’s not a force or a power you create. It’s this belief that you or anyone could become separate from the divine Love that basis your/our being…for a moment…or for an indefinite amount of time.

Whatever regrets….whatever fears….whatever criticizes..whatever upsets…whatever disturbs…whatever unsettles…..any and all of these suggestions in thought, even though they come guised as your own or cloaked in the costume of ‘I feel’ these are simply mental attempts to separate you from a fluid constant perpetual feeling of serenity and peace….of oneness and truth.

And in short, these beliefs do not have to rule the minute, hour, morning or day. They can be resisted and thwarted off by bathing yourself in the reality of your spiritual identity and oneness with the divine.

Knowing this, I knew that the wonkiness I have been feeling about being here has nothing to do with my being here and everything to do with the fact that wherever we are, there will be occasions to fight off that feeling of separateness to divine Love.

So for the past several mornings, as I’ve awoken, I’ve prayed deeply and earnestly to establish my relationship to the divine. I know that there is and always remains this all presence of Love governing, ruling each moment and that I can know and feel at every moment what this agenda is….

Anything that suggests disconnect is not my own thought and is not apart of divine Love’s agenda for me or for anyone, ever.

I know that I can be alert to it’s tendencies and resist entirely its attempt to misinfluence me or persuade me to feel alone or separate or removed from work I should be doing.

I know that my real work is to perpetuate this feeling of oneness and to stand for it and prove it day in and day out. And I know I can be patient even though those wonky feelings were there because I know I didn’t cause them and don’t have to be influenced by them either. My days and moments can be filled with joy and appreciation that I’m here, now, helping another life.

Praying and defending like this has really helped.

Together we’ve been able to sift through a lot of her unwanted stuff and ready up for this estate sale she’s having this weekend.

What’s cool? This morning I felt like I can’t imagine not being here to help with this, to partner our lives, our nows for these days.

I’m sure there will still be more work to do….mentally and otherwise. But my gratitude remains sure, as does my conviction that none of us are ever separate from Love’s agenda and can –at any moment—silence the pull to draw us down.

More than helping my sister’s transition, I’m beginning to see I’m really defending that none of us can ever move out of Love’s care. We simply transition to new and deeper views of the constancy of that permanent relationship!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gimme a holler if you wanna chat further about any of this stuff.
And thanks for reading / sharing this post.

Be well, Tre ☺

Grace, forgiveness, compassion endure….

Hey to all….

I’m writing a bit more to add to the former lengthy post….

Heather Armstrong of Dooce.com has added her 2cents on her experience being interviewed on the Today Show.

Kudos to Heather. She comments with poise, grace, and compassion…and albeit down right honesty. She tells all her readers that even before going live Kathy Lee Gifford expressed relatability on being criticized by viewers for speaking about her family on air. So prior to any live footage, the two were united in common ground: they know the value of sharing personal stories with viewers/readers. And they know the costs. But do it anyway.

Heather compassionately handles the retelling of then what happened on air.

She also goes a step further.

She invites others to interview bloggers to try to wrap their arms around why this endeavor is as successful for some as it is..what the validity is among blogging communities. In short she invites broadcast media to have another chance.

I applaud this response. She doesn’t offer any sense of hurt, torn ego or anger and resentment.

She treats this issue well and professionally.

Why do I write about it thus?

Because my own maturing sense of grace yearns to treat people this same way. I could list 100’s of times when my motives have been called into question, when my style is bawked or condemned. And regrettably, I can not boast having taken the higher ground 50% of the time.

Surely I’m learning to. But the ego gets in there, self justifies and basically says ‘well to heck w/ them. if they don’t get it, so be it. i don’t have time for this’ and moves on.

Hello.

Where is the humanity in that?

Now in fairness, I haven’t maintained that disposition for a few years probably more. But I’m still well aware of when my feelings have been hurt, when I’ve felt wrongly accused, criticized and even fired for misjudgements of my character or misinterpretations of my motives.

In the long run, I’ve learned and am learning still it is ALWAYS better to respond with grace, poise, and compassion. Forgiveness needs to come as well and will.

At one point in my journey I was offered a job I had to move cross country for. I was promised a great salary with benefits. Come to find out a few months into that scenario, the reality was the job was never really budgeted for and before 90 days was up I was given my notice.

Crushed, bewildered, frantic, and furious, I was angry…very. I became resentful and dug myself into a great big pit of despair for far too long to admit. I’d trusted, really felt it was a good fit and then whammo! Ousted before I had even acclimated to this new area.

Shortly thereafter I learned that even had the job been approved, my qualifications would not have measured up. Okay. Humbling to learn but okay.

Still, I fumed over this for a long, long while. It got personal. I spent way too much time being angry at a few people and myself as well. I felt so stupid, naive, and clammed up on my sense of trusting humanity. For a while I felt used, exploited and taken advantage of.

Lemme tell ya where those negative emotions got me. NOWHERE. Absolutely nowhere.

Anger and hatred, bitterness and resentment never get you anywhere. And sure, you can kid yourself that you’re gonna lock all that emotion up and put it into a mental trunck and never again open it, or that you’ll just not think about that stuff anymore and never trust THOSE people again.

Try it. You are kidding yourself if you can simultaneously maintain a sense of peace.

In fact, during the aftermath, a few months into the saga while I was volunteering in a few different capacities, still fuming inwardly from my rejection, I broke out with a heinous fever and was in bed for days. It was the dead of winter. And I had a dog to take care of. Fortunately my neighbors helped me. But at that point, I knew I couldn’t just stew on my anger.

I needed healing.

And in my life for healing I turn to prayer based on the ideas in Science and Health. Day in and day ou,t I prayed like I do whenever I am treating myself. And day by day the fever broke a bit. But it would zip back up to really uncomfortable levels.

Well, during this time, a few people came to mind who I’d locked up in the trunk of “You are justified to despise these individuals.” UGH! I can’t stand admitting I even felt this way. But I did.

YET, divine Love was doing its work….was striving to embrace me with innocence and bathe me in goodness and was having a tough time doing so because my sense of ego and will were just right up there justifying these feelings.

Wasn’t gonna cut it. You can’t strive to be the emanation of divine Love while also harboring anger and resentment and loathing anyone or anything.

Aware of this, I started to walk down that path of forgiveness. I didn’t want to. I ADMIT IT.

Self justification was all over this effort screaming “What are ya kiddin’ me? You have every right to loathe this person for what he/she did to you. They don’t deserve forgiveness.’

OH REALLY?

Think again.

For the next 24 hours, I thought about shifting my perspective and aiming to see spiritually each of these individuals I’d dumped into that mental trunk. Bit by bit I took my thoughts of each one and considered each of them as a child of God. And I asked myself over and over “Tre, how is divine Love seeing its expression as this person? Tre, is divine Love seeing an example of manhood or womanhood that it created that can harm another?”

In fact, the heinous things people do are moments of hiccups of behavior, attitude, being. They are not the true nature of that person. No one wake up and bounds outa bed to take advantage of someone. NO ONE DOES. If they do this, it’s because of a pattern of behavior. But it’s changeable and it’s not their true nature and substance.

As a spiritual seeker and person who practices the Science of Being as explained in Eddy’s Science and Health, I’ve vowed to take up all that opposes the true nature of someone and advocate for his or her true individuality. So nothing was different in my view of these people that had wronged me.

I needed to flush out all the ill will and anger I felt. I needed to stop thinking of them as heinous people and mean people and worthless people and no good people. I needed to see them purely, wholely spiritually.

Would my doing this inevitably change their outward dispositions and actions? Not necessarily. But it WOULD heal my wrong sense of them.

And this is key to healing.

It is not mine or yours to ensure that someone change their ways and be a poised, graceful, honest, fair, just, compassionate individual. It is our duty to insist that such is their true nature, regardless if we’re shown this behavior or not.

In my case, as I let go of all the hatred, as I sought to find each aspect of good that each one of these people manifested, my fever broke. It took a bit…but it did finally break and I was able to join up with some family and spend a normal (somewhat) holiday with them. I say somewhat b/c in my family nothing is ever quite normal. 🙂

Anyhoo, I could write more and more about how Iprayed, about how iIhealed my loathing toward these folks…And I probably will. For now my point: harboring resentment, hatred, or anger toward anyone, no matter how justified, will never get you where you need to go in your own journey. In fact, harboring this muckety muck will slow you down tremendously.

So no matter what, get into that thought of yours and start weeding out all the muck all the huggabaloo and all the icky stuff. You can do it. You deserve to do it. And what’s more, humanity deserves nothing less.

Enjoy your journey. Shoot me an email or gimme a call if you want some help with any of this or just wanna chat about it.

Be well….Tre 😉 evolveserenity@gmail.com; 305/394.1070 (At&t unlimited mins)

Remember this…

Sweet sister of mine….remember this: you are a rock…a beautiful woman whose vigor and grace, strength and determination have brought you many victories and many moments of glee. You are a woman of integrity, of might….of humility and unselved love. You’ve poured nothing less than your all into your now the past every year that i’ve known you…:) you’ve been a mom to me and a sister…and no matter what, no matter what, you are loved….and you know this. you know this because when you calm the stirrings of thought and the fears and the shocking news stories, you feel that calm tenderness and hug…..you are not ever alone. you know this. you know this. you know this…

on mother’s day and always i thank you for always being there for me…for listening and leaning…for holding and helping…and at a time in your life when i know you need some help too, remember always i am here….and that i love you…..

we are each worthy of another’s love. and we are each able to outpour love to millions. no matter how love is reciprocated, whether one to one or one to the multitudes…..always know that whatever you send forth you are blessed by and receive back.

a good friend reminded me of a few lines Mary Baker Eddy penned in Science and Health and I’m still ever learning their true meaning. And so I offer them to you as a form of comfort and hope and love….
“Human affection is not poured forth vainly, even though it meet no return. Love enriches the nature, enlarging, purifying, and elevating it. The wintry blasts of earth may uproot the flowers of affection, and scatter them to the winds; but this severance of fleshly ties serves to unite thought more closely to God, for Love supports the struggling heart until it ceases to sigh over the world and begins to unfold its wings for heaven. ” (p.57:22)

I’m inspired by your stedfast trust…and pause in awe and deep gratitude for your strength. You just keep on keeping on my sweet sis….Love is nudging you and leading you right where and as you need to be.

Happy Mother’s Day sweet sis o mine 🙂

One thought shift yields peace

I was up most of the night…thinking…..getting still….not giving in to a lot of unknowns that keep flashing in my thought like banners on a webpage…

Sometimes, the pull to feel anxious over uncertainty outweighs the pull to get calm and still and focused. A really close friend reminds me at times ‘Tre, use your rational mind.” I of course gasp at his big grown up word because in those moments I can’t navigate what’s rationale vs. irrationale. For me, when I’m anxious I become 8 years old. I get lost in that mind mapping….and most of the thoughts mulling about are probably all a bit irrational…

So tonight, as I listened to the multiple sounds of puppies breathing and watched the squirming squiggles of little dachsund bodies dreaming while sleeping, I reached out in thought to grab hold of that all presence of Love I’ve come to trust holds guard over everything…every last detail.

There’s a lot of questions I have….a lot that’s still not yet settled for me…..I’m sifting through a few options on where to dwell permanently, I’m sorting through some financial matters on what I can spend for rent…I’m feeling tugged by a few opportunities that would have me be in three different states at once….a project I long to birth keeps getting put on hold, and then the ongoing considerations of personal growth and goals I seek to fulfil…

But tonight, I took a leave of absence from all these pulls of me…and I went instead to that realm where the affirming of this all presence of Love that is holding guard over all is already establishing the order, governance, and principled outcome of each one of its ideas.

Wars cease with shifts in thinking.
Poverty lessens when humanity outpours love.
Potential violence toward another dissipates when a human heart remembers hope.
Can I commit to insisting these thought shifts are occurring?
Surely.
How?
By entrenching my own thoughts in that which will evolve peace in my own life….that which will outpour love in my own daily doings, that which will oppress anger and silence my irritated thought that wants to blurt out something unkind.

You hear that statement ‘Be the change”….
Thought by thought we can each create anew our lives…..

I was thinking about this tonight…and a calm sweet assurance of hope came over me……I went to the web and found this sweet campaign: hope revolution….where one woman just started putting notes of hope around a city and blogged about it…and it spread to other cities…and then her friend is now taking these notes of hope with her on her visit to Rwanda which came about simply through her own blog about a woman she met from there and how their budding friendship is now blossoming into a campaign to help further girls’ education in Rwanda.

I think: surely, one thought shift opens the door for broader views and more expanded thinking……

There’s no stagnancy or complacency or apathy where thought embraces possibility …even possibility in the moment.
There’s no shunning of the irreplaceable value of the moment when one sees each as a foundational stepping stone.
There’s no ounce of room for fear when all that is desired can be broken down into manageable step by step, moment by moment, thought by thought doings……

And so I pause …..feel whole……feel calm…..and feel hope…..and recall the beauty of the rain, the real world, one voice ( songs by fave female vocalists)…..and this calm envelopes me and tenderly reminds me: truth is occurring……peace is unfolding…..love is being…..

The sun is coming out…..

The sun is coming out….

Today was a bit dark and rainy….all day. Kinda like my mood this past weekend. I’ve had a lot of dark moments, a lot of lows. Been really angry and disappointed over someone’s actions. And it’s a time of really feeling like my sense of hope in humanity is really being challenged.

I’ve always sought to find the good in others and surely this hasn’t changed.

Innately, each one of us is an expression of Spirit, of the all loving, all present Being that is the one Mind. Surely we don’t see this character exhibited 24/7 by every human we know let alone ourselves. So choosing to defend that this true nature is the substance of everyone’s character…well some may laugh that this is even an intention or goal I have. But I do and I will keep on striving to defend each person’s spiritual substance, no matter what.

Yet when I feel attacked or when someone I love has been really wronged or harmed, it’s so hard to get past the human emotions of anger and bitterness..of resentment or frustration.

But still I strive and so I must. Because to be influenced by evil never does an ounce of good. …not for myself….not for my sibling…not for the whole of humanity.

I grew up learning the lesson to forgive my enemies. And so I tried to my whole childhood on into adulthood. But back then, I know I had a hard time with this. Because back then I felt like my forgiveness would somehow off them of the wrong they’d done. Like somehow the names they called me or whatever they stole from me (crimes of my elementary peers) was somehow tolerable because I wanted more to be their friend. For years I was taken advantage of I see now because a lot of my peers learned through my behavior that indeed I tolerated verbal abuse. In fact during one 6th grade lunch where the boys were against the girls in this tug of war thing, during my rather chubbier years, I distinctly remember one peer saying ‘Oh, that’s just Tresha the tubbolard. She won’t mind if you call her fat names. We’ve done it so much by now and she’s always your pal in the end.’

Something like that. Oddly enough, this same guy would be my date to the senior prom 6 years later. But what I’m getting to is that in the many years since 6th grade, I’ve learned so much more about the nature of that lesson to forgive your enemies.

To me it’s not at all anymore about growing tolerant of another’s wrong doings. Rather, it’s committing yourself to loving his/her true nature inspite of his/her wrong doing. Forgiveness is like a public affirmation that states “I’m willing to defend your true core and essence and to really love and cherish that about you.’

But here’s what forgiveness is not: it is not tolerance for evil of any kind. It is not weak heartedness that fears standing up for what is principled and what is honorable and what is moral. It is not defending someone’s wrong doing because somehow that wrong doing was justified.

Forgiveness doesn’t even mean you will stay close with another. But it does mean you will defend in your heart of hearts that person’s true substance is spiritual and therefore whole and free from all inclination toward wrongdoing.

The rains have subsided for this evening…and the sun is coming out again at least to share it’s final moments before it sets (and yes, I know, one day I’ll write the truth that the sun really isn’t setting at all, rather is the earth rotating….it just sounds so much more poetic)…and so with that rotation and seemingly setting of the sun, the light is appearing…and so too is it in my heart.

Surely my anger has subsided greatly….surely my frustration and sorrow are subsiding much. And at least for this hour I am finding myself able to move past my anger toward this other and really reach the depth of where I need to be: in cherishing his innate innocence and goodness. For in truth the ray of love he exudes hasn’t ever waned. And so I pray….